Dedicated

I always wanted you to care for me more in the past.
I yearn to be the girl you loved most.
Therefore, I did everything I can to be the girl.
Now, I'm sick of trying over and over again.
Sick of pulling strings attach..

After some time,
I no longer yearn to be the girl you loved most.
I no longer want you to care for me more.
Because, I am no longer the same old me.
No longer your dearest babygirl.
Inside me, I was thinking, what's the use even if you promise you'll do better now?
What's the use of promising me all these when I chose to leave?
If only you did tell me all these earlier, everything would be fine now.
For these past 6 months, all I wanted to hear so much is you to tell me I'm your best.
But, after so long, I never hear it before. Not even for once..
Even till the day we part, I never got the chance to hear it.
Till yesterday's night, you finally told me.
By right, I should be happy. But, I don't know why, I feel nothing.
After a while, sadness overwhelmed me. I thought, I was suppose to be happy, right?
But, instead, I feel wasted. Wasted because that sentence came too late.
I was once a bad girlfriend, I didn't treat you good.
I shouted at you as and when I like, I only pamper you when I feel like it.
I know about all these, I still remember.
But, I remember me changing for you as the time goes by.
And, when I finally changed for the better, you started to take changes too.
You said I always wanted to win in a fight, I would always argue till the end.
You said I never know how to apologise.
So, the fight continued and we broke each other's heart.

Slowly, I changed. I always keep quiet during a fight, I always apologise even though I don't know where I go wrong.
I just told myself, this is the kind of girl you want, so be it.
I'll change myself, to someone you're comfortable with, to someone who will never break your heart.
But, you told me you don't like me being like this.
I was lost, I don't know what to do.
When I argue back, you said I always wanted to win.
When I keep quiet and remain silent, you said I changed and no longer cares.

Over the past 6 months, all I ever wish for is actually your understanding for me.
Even though if you never once tell me I'm the girl you loved most but it doesn't matters as long as I have your understanding.
But, I never once feel it.
I always told you to put yourself in my shoes, I wonder have you ever try that.?
Well, I did. Because I put myself in your shoes, that's why I tried to change to someone you liked, someone you prefer.
If I didn't think for you, I wouldn't change myself. Instead, I'll ask you to accept me for who I am.


Right now, it's pointless to say all these anymore.
It's all over and we got to get on with our life eventually.
Goodluck to you on Monday, hope nothing happens.